GIGO

as some of you might know, this refers to ‘Garbage In, Garbage Out’ which may well describe this site and/or my life…and yes, Independence Day, Guatemala style has almost passed…was there extra fervor this year?seemed like it, from my  perspective. And judging from the extra passel of exquisite City women, aka Capitalinas, it was a success.

September, as some of the bar/restaurant owners know, is usually a quiet month for biz…some of the exceptions, so far, appear to be the Londoner, El Barrio and Sobremesa.  We’ll see how the Exit Inn, newly injected with fervor (and $$) and the loss of Spiros, goes..Alabama Bob keeps on keepin’ on, with a new idea/twist every so often…gotta love his spirits(rum, etc)

and another another (or 2) only in antigua moments…the Amish kids, those with the long dresses/hair in a snood/bag? selling trinkets in/around the park…I know they’re not Mennenites…those were the inventors of Mennen, the deodorant stuff…got rich, moved to Miami…ok, minor drum roll…Bodegona, the local supermarket? selling big bags of potato chips, with  a
Guatemalan flag included…wtf? had they done this a week ago, it might’ve flown…and then, at the other end of the store, six packs of toilet paper, with a plastic cup attached..is there a theme here?

comings/goings…Jackson, of the new hip/new motorcycle..off to Cincy, says he’ll be back around Christmas…Der Hogan, in town unusualy early, leaves on Thanksgiving, with some strange plans for the winter..the Pancheri’s…leaving us for good, in October (medical stuff), headed for Nor Cal, which is where Piano Mike and Bobby D are hanging out now..it’ll be interesting to see how those East Coast guys react to th Left Coast…

and thanks to Stafford, who has been suggesting for a long time that I write a book…yeah, got the software and I’ve started…as I said to the ever delicious Maite Morjan this morning, all you need is a good title, a strong opening sentence and sex by page three..I asked, she declined..o, well..god, what a goddess!

Tequila Sunrise

today’s version of La Prensa Libre,in a article about bars/discos making too much noise? showed an exterior shot of El Barrio…hey, any publicity is good publicity. I remember the new Mayor saying that she was going to ‘shut down/clean up’ this problem…hah! try the blocks around 5th avenida and 6th calle, and then we’ll talk.

Mamma’s #2 getting close to opening, what ten months later, if the daily appearance of the delightful Mayra is any clue…whatever, just a vision of her in the morning in the black outfit works for me….per Arty Barnes of the Londoner, they’re bucking the usual September trend of decreased business…given the food, atmosphere, music and attention to detail, I’m not surprised.

No, haven’t heard of any new ‘Singles Club’ events…personally I would’ve called it a ‘dining club’ to avoid any misunderstandings..oh well.

I wonder if the new ‘Zika’ thing has impacted any of the coastal resorts…the last time I was at the very sweet Hotel Del Fin, at night they set out the purple rings of death aka mosquito repellants…ever read the instructions on the package> scary…our famed local muralist, Steve Wintershaw, working on two projects at once…one, the Reilly’s #3, the  other a hotel west of town..and if you see me limping around town, it’ a ‘pain in the ass’ other known as sciatic nerve stuff..yeah, i can be a pain  in the ass, ask anyone…and thank you, Rainbow Reading…the Kindle and I don’t mix well…the medium and I’m back to old fashioned paperbacks…and yes, the September edition of Our Man is live on Amazon/Kindle and yes, I’ll put up another article on the other site, http://www.ourmaninantigua.com, with some tasty photos..

Another Bear to Cross

so, I’m getting it, slowly, that I live in a 4th world country. I used to think that India wore the crown but even they have a working postal system(thanks to the Brits)but here? the government (sic)took over the El Correo postal system as of August 1…and now,they’re closed, with over 8 million pieces of mail yet to go anywhere…so what, of the international law/regulations that state a government/country must have a working postal system?  hah!..no, a double hah!…

and so..? ‘mental pause’ hit me , yet again, on Sunday…I was primed to catch the ‘last Bobby Darling’ show at the Londoner and then got hungry…’thought about the great looking cheeseburgers at the Exit Inn…hey, why not? the Spiro’s inspired works of art? (he’s gone, cashed out and is in the States)so, the cheeseburger? killer? the waitress, Joelle? more than killer…but the beer-battered onion rings? out of this world! segue-way! no, there is no new women’s shelter opening up, labeled The Tempura House, for ‘lightly battered women’…sick? yes…segue-way…what was Freddy’s scooters, aka Simoon….lame…now sharing space in the old DiVinci space on 5th calle…a motorcycle showroom? and in the most expensive block in town? segue-way! remember the short-lived business of renting SegWays here? its bad enough walking the cobble stones but riding on a SegWay here?..thanks, I’ll pass.and yes, I missed Bobby D’s last show, before he returns to the States…and a few others also going soon..Jackson, the Pancheri’s in October (medical stuff)Ponzi Bob is here to stay…great! and the usual in/out flows of ‘winter/temp people…so? I’m creating my own list of …no, not the ‘A List’ but the ‘O list’….the obnoxious…those whom I won’t see/drink with with…it’s short, for now but there are openings…

and Lili, the newspaper woman who worked the corner of 4th calle/5th Ave? she’s in Washington! doing what, who knows? and how long has Ay Robot been closed? and I thinks its amusing that the ex-cop and sex offender share space on the bench…one of the reasons that I abstain…too weird, even for Antigua

Juxtaposition

ok, even for Bodegona I thinks it’s weird marketing…buy a  little jar of Skippy peanut butter and receive a little bottle of Clamato…wtf? am i missing some kind of local treat? and while I’m ranting about Bodo, have you noticed by the  check-out stand those racks for condoms? also…there are vibrating things(rings)…do they come with instructions, like ‘insert Part A into Part B?’…maybe one could ask one of the girls(cashiers)for a demo?

and coming soon…as in  next Sunday @ 5pm? the great Bobby Darling Show, plus its Martins birthday (drinks are on the house, aka the roof…lotsa luck getting up there) but/and, as a very special guest, Brendan Byrne…he sings! who knew? I definitely have to be there for this one, which should be epic, even by Antigua standards….standards? yeah…local legends…ok, fine…where? o, that’s right…at the Londoner, on 6th ave, between 4th and 5th calles

speaking of local legends, Maite Morjan aka Tiger Lily, has added a vegetarian menu to El Portal and El Sol, with plans to add an gelato bar in El Sol…as a long time member of PETA(People Eating Tasty Animals), I prefer her bacon…no, El sol’s bacon..jeez, what were you thinking?

 

ah…surprise…El Correo, the govt postal service? supposedly taken over Aug 1 by the  govt? (the Canadians bailed)…doors open and Norma, behind the counter, just like it was, at least for the eight years that I’ve been going there…Caniz? they’re screwing up again, with both incoming/outgoing mail..and it’s adios to the  folks from El Salvador…they came, they saw, they spent serious Money…30% increase over last year, ‘they’ say…and if you’re in the newly upgraded central park, notice the new signs describing what’s growing in the flower beds and a lot are starting to bloom…major tip of the panama to Phillip Wilson, unsung hero of this project…so? time for  breakfast here…OJ and Quetzalteca…um, good!

Expectations

over the years here, I’ve learned to keep my expectorations…no, expectations low…like going back to Bodegona and expecting that the same article that I saw yesterday will still be there today…in a way, that’s why I’m bailing (again)on the Bobby D show at the Londoner today (5pm)…that and also I’m trying to get an article tuned/polished for a magazine out this week…the show is great, boffo and superb, btw…

ever notice the Pachamama store on west 5th calle? I think they’re part of the large SF organization that always wants a new airplane for next year, but over the door the sign reads ‘chocolate, tea, etc and love’….so I go in and ask for some ‘love’ to go…not much, a pound or so…they show me the door..hasta la vista, idiot..

and the folks from El Salvador are here…40000 expected in Antigua alone!…gotta love our roads, eh? what roads? yesterday, the dudes in the red berets aka Kaibiles were watching over the central park….either that or watching the last of the known perverts…yeah, him…amazing chutzpah..

and yes, the nightly assault on cars in the street…in my case, 5th Avenida south….broken windows, glass in the street..BMW! break my windows….a good thing it’s well lighted, eh? where are the police? o, that’s right…we don’t have any..at least, in the morning as I walk north, there’s the heavenly scent of fresh bakery goods at San Martin..and no, its not true that a new woman’s shelter has opened…aka Tempura House…’lightly battered.’  speaking of health, sort of…is my observation that many people who patronize ‘health food’ stores are in bad health or do they just look that way? kind of a chicken/egg conundrum...

In the swill of the night

I’ve been told that the word avocado is a derivitive of the Nahuatl word ‘aguacate’ which actually means ‘scrotum’ in that language…pass the guacamole, eh? 

tomorrow night, yet again a repeat performance of Bobby Darling’s smash performance of last Sunday…where? the Londoner, mid-block 6th avenida sur…5pm…get there early for eats and a seat…it fills up!

and can someone, anyone, tell me the significance of the different plaids worn by the girls in the local catholic schools…just doesn’t seem very spanish/latin to me…and is anyone taking down the new flag in the central park at night? doesn’t look like it, but it is Guatemala, after all.

And yes, the Muni has employed a quaint little electric car for imposing/enforcing the no-parking zones..it has the siren and the wheel clamps + the ‘gotcha forms.’…@ $30 a pop, that stings…they seem to avoid the more expensive cars and lock up the poorer varieties… and yes, this is a bit light on content…’sorry..been up early working on new stuff….tomorrow, 5pm…be there..

Spandex!

acres of runners gathered in front of City Hall early yesterday morning….among them the dashing beautiful blonde Flor of Dasha(in tasty black spandex) and Blake and his crew from Pappy’s BBQ, in their new logo shirts…”You can smell our pits from blocks away”…..hey, it’s a good smell, ok?

Bobby D and his one man show at the Londoner….Piano Mike, playing guitar(!)opened for him(it’s Antigua, go with it) and the place rocked….sizzling guitar riffs like I’ve never heard, with local musicians in the crowd just to hear him…SRO, as in packed, early on and an amazing  crowd mix…Jackson, Ponzi Bob et al..the Sunday roast beef dinner was perfectly superb and the best place to sit, for service, was by the cash register…Martin! helluva night…Bobby D? wow….don’t miss another of these events…

the Exit Inn, fresh off their recent Darts League trophy, is starting a Tuesday night poker event…starts early, 50q buy in, discounts on drinks/food…and the town was packed…all day long, where did all these people come from? ‘judging from some of the babes, the City…was the the weather or the Bono 14 surge?.or the new park? ..who cares? it was a great day for people-watching and maybe even some of the merchants made a little money(for a change)and I’m told that a motorcycle shop is going in where the old Da Vinci spot was…’seems a bit expensive for that location but what the hell do I know? I know I’m usually  wrong and/or ‘sources’ lead me astray…so? so, what?

and, depending on how you found this, there’s another site up/running as of a few days ago…www.ourmaninantigua.com where I’ll start adding content this week…old/new local articles, whatever, now that the old Examiner site is down/gone/what once was an incredible publishing empire, knawing on the dust…

 

Dis-gruntled

I seem to have misplaced or lost it somewhere…so, no gruntle for me…I did, however, find the answer to a question. Observation tells me that there’s a variety of sizes with Guatemalan women, specifically uh…how to say this tastefully…’as seen from the rear’ does that work? So after asking the question to a few folks and not getting any definitive answer..its simple: there’s a manufacturer of ‘plus size jeans’ in the City…in different silhouettes…’Queen size’ and so on…don’t think this needs to go any further.

Ever wonder about the Bono 14? nope, it’s not Sonny and Cher’s last album. Salaried workers supposedly get two annual bonuses, however there’s a catch…60% don’t get it…receive it…they ‘get it’ that they’re being hosed….speaking of getting hosed, the ‘new and improved’ park gets it every morning and I read that the City is planting a few specimens of a local tree called ‘esquisuchil’ and the flower is said to be a minor tranquilizer….does one smoke it or what? I’ll get back to you on this, after some field tests.

It was great to walk by Casa Blanca yesterday afternoon and hear Nelson…no, wait..that wasn’t Nelson…he’s acquired a couple of sidekicks….still, good music but of course everyone’s attention was on the TV…I would’ve watched if Iceland was playing Wales but I was in the midst of  batch#2 of mango chutney making and my priorities were different…I wonder what this town would be like with a chapter of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence? it’s a San Francisco thing, ok?…fine, I’ll go do the dishes and the day looks sunny and bright…go have fun, as my mom used to tell me.

Another Weak-end update

ah, the official inauguration of the park this morning? packed! suits, kids, chairs and the City finally got the NW fountain working again…’major tip of the best panama to Phil Wilson (EcoFiltro)for getting this done, and also Banco Industrial for putting some major $$$…the park is a jewel and a thing of beauty, easily the most beautiful in Guatemala..

finally figured out what the last sign on the outside of the new ‘Old Tree’ says…’Beauly really is meant to read ‘Beauty’…I think..across from Bodegona..Alice, of New Destiny Travel, got a bit slammed today, over some trips/reservations…not her usual style, as I’ve known her for 6 or 7 years…’hit happens, even to the best of us..

and congrats to the Exit Inn, home of the new Dart’s League trophy…is Spiros absence going to make a difference? cooking, maybe..remains to be seen…and across the way, the Klavern Tavern, so named by the absent Hogan..there’s a few who don’t go there anymore …hey, $ is $ and time is valuable. If I want to get a one-sided lecture, there’s always the AL bench in the morning (which is why I’ve opted out of that one also)

and yes, this domain is up/in place…next stop, the new/old ourmaninantigua site…some rough edges to smooth out, a fresh article underway but progress is..and I see that Travel Menu is again offering ‘Steak Nights’…up against the formidable team at the Londoner…and some people are looking at the old Da Vinci site on 5thCalle…god knows why? another restaurant? please…how about a video poker bar? so? so, what? it’s Fried Day Night! go out and raise a little hell but don’t piss in the streets or break beer bottles,  ok?

Much Ado about Doo-doo

so, as one can see, the new blog site is still under construction..a few more bugs/features and it should be ready to fly…good thing I’ve learned patience, eh? thanks to Darly Darly for being the first to sign up…she cooks? hmm..I made a killer batch of mango chutney last week, Major Grey style, since that’s not available here..a vital ingredient for indian curry, which I cook sometimes..tomorrow? the official inauguration of the newly-revitalized central park..11 am..and yes, I’m getting the other site, ourmaninantigua, whipped into shape..jeez, the old dog learns new licks?

http://www.examiner.cm/article/purple-mauve-or-fuchsia